BEst of LUcK!!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Im really very tired of everything. Very tired is not an understatement. It clearly describes my feelings now. Im so tired of everything that the only thing I wanna do is to just ditch everything here and leave for good. It's so irritating. The seemingly endless work, the shit crap situation in which im in and a school in which I seriously duno if it's good or bad for me. Yesterday mei told me that mum's frustrated with me because it seems that im changing for the worst, staying out and stuff. Seriously, im 21 for goodness sake. The more they want to lock me up, the more I want to rebel. It's so irritating to have pple tracking your whereabouts 24/7. I know it's all out of pure concern but to distrust me so much is simply too much! Do I look or come across as a wild child? I have never been and I will never be. I feel like just gg Australia to study but $$.. Hais. I guess you will just never have all the things that you want. I hope that mum and dad will approve of me gg to Australia to visit Vanitha at the very least. I really need to take some time off from Singapore to sort out alot of things and especially settle something that has to be settled since like long time ago.
Yesterday while stoning, I suddenly realised that I have given up quite alot of things for something that isn't even worth it at all. I feel so stupid yet I still want to hold on to it. It's like so shitty. I hate the weak person in me. The only reason why all these shit crap happened is cux simply I wasn't determined enough and daring enough to be able to put my feet down and demand for things when I had to. Alot of things that many others tell me or advise me I understand but my character just isn't cut out to do such stuff. Im so sick and tired of me going through this vicious cycle of mine that everytime I go through it, less pain but more anger at myself. I guess even I myself know what I have to do but there is just a big discrepancy between what Im supposed to do and what I actually do. I really wished that I was more like mei... Give up hope la.
Exams was on 23 and 24 Sep. 23/9 for Managing HR and 24/9 for StrategicManagement. Tiring! My right arm hurts now! Muscle! haah... Since 23rd la! Wrote non-stop for 3 and 2 hrs on respective days. Headache lo... MHR was super difficult. All the things tt we studied came out but in the opposite way. Hope I can pass. 23/9 we were all like slack la. on 22nd (Mon) we went to meet Michael at Woodlands Library orig to do SM but end up realised tt MHR too much stuff to cram so ended up researching thr. Sherry and me didn't touch anything at all there. So we decided to go Shihao's hse to chiong thru the nite. So at ard 5pm we left Woodlands Library and then to Sherry's hse for her to pack her stuff and then to my hse to pack my stuff. End up we had to eat takeaways so not to waste time. Sherry brought along Jenga Girls Talk Edn to relax. Orig only 2 of us play but then end up we managed to pull Shihao and Michael to play with us. It was like after super long of negotiating with Michael that he finally relented. Hahas... Michael is like super corrupting my mind! He must play everything in adult version one. Who lose gotta drink a cup of Otard XO, Absolut Vodka and Gin added together. Poor Sherry first to drink tt super crazy concoction. And to drink it under 3mins is impossible la! So end up Sherry took like almost 20mins to finish that concoction. I can just only imagine. The 2nd cup was drowned by Michael and then Shihao and me drank half cup each thereaft. I didn't lose Jenga but we played Dai-de... I lost lo. Too bad... Hahas... Mine was half cup of Otard! Ew!... it's the worst drink I ever had! Half cup and im well on my way to drunk-dom... Both me and Sherry were talking a little crazy, especially Sherry! Hahas... Sherry did some crazy stuff which was super funny... Got potential to be class clown! =p
Then we ended up partying the nite away since Shihao's hse so high tech got amplifyer and his music all good for clubbing kind! Haas... I tink I finally learned a little bit as in how to move in the clubs. Sandwiched between 2 guys and with a guy... Hahas... So funny... Sherry can really dance man... Hahas... ;D I drank more than tt stupid cup of Otard... I think I accidentally in a moment of blurness I drank some Vodka also... Hahas... Give up hope! Lucky I wasn't like dead drunk. I duno at what time that we decided to call it a day. I rmb only saying bye to Michael and then I also duno how he went home liao. All I know is I was a little tipsy... I of course still could climb the stairs but heng Shihao helped me if not im super sure I will fall sia... Hahas...
While bathing, I heard noises outside of the toilet... I was like too tired to bother also la... Den while I was like brushing my teeth and washing my face I heard "Sherry is locked outside" in mandarin la... den I was like huh?! It took me like 3 secs to register tt. I was so super shocked as in it woke me up and I immediately wrapped the towel ard myself and opened the toilet door to ask la. Haha... Lucky... I really thought she was locked outside the hse or something la but she was just locked out of the room la... Scare me... End up me and Sherry slept with Winnie!! As in Winnie the Pooh... haha... Super big Winnie the pooh that is given by this crazy girl who's obsessed with Shihao... If she knew, the both of us would die then and thr man... Hahas... the next day we started studying at ard 9am... Sherry and me are like super dead kind... we slack to the max... talk, take photo with winnie, day dream and like until 2pm im still in the 2nd chpt only... We went Royal Hotel to eat Jap food again! Tt place is super nice... the food... yummy! but this time the miso is a tad too salty for me... No matter wad... it's still nice... Mmm... now thinking of it makes me hungry again! Hahas... After the disastrous MHR exam, we decided to go back to Shihao's hse to chiong again... that was the orig intention... So same sequence again... go sherry's place den my place den back to shihao's place. Ended up Sherry stayed in the room to watch youtube and me and shihao watched racecars and then sex and the city... I tink i seriously too tired liao. I fell aslp... I think he did too that's y halfway thru he said CMI liao go slp... Hahas... The pic quality was also quite bad la... so cannot blame us? hahas... next day is really chiong all the way okie... Hew came over and we did up the crazy notes... All the way till 6! n den shihao scare me... his printer cannot print! i was scared to the maximax la! really I could feel my heart pounding so badly... It's really chiong up to the last min la!
SM exam... hais... end up i nvr use the notes at all... all i just bomb frm the sky la! siao liao la... give up hope... I seriously hope i can pass... okies... just give me credits for both MHR and SM and i will b super happy alr... i wun even dare aim for distinction la... seriously...
Hahas... I tink i feel much happier now... Mayb it's the sweet tt im eating now or mayb tt everyone from HR has gone to the HR retreat only leaving the temps here... Im kinda looking fwd to gg down to the canteen to buy food later... Everyday also eat my salad... Today change... haha... I duno la...
I just hope tt mum allows me to go Australia... This Australia thingy I can let everyone know except for one person... I really hope my plan will work well... because I seriously just wanna go relax... mayb I shd ask Cherlyn but im afraid she cannot take leave for so long also... hais... i haven contacted vanitha yet also... hope she faster come online...
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